Writers Block
Jul. 11th, 2004 11:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
perpetuityI have a couple unfinished fics lying in my files... If anyone cares to look through them and try to stimulate me into writing more... give me an idea, encourage me, point me to a fic about those same characters I may enjoy... please do.
CHAPTER TWO: “…but we try not to cross it.”
RACHEL
Why did I decide to go after Marco? Why? It’s a good question. Cassie is my best friend. Marco is my sparring partner, for lack of a better term. He’s someone I disagree with and argue with and shoot down.
Until the debate becomes moral and ethical and all that fun stuff. That’s when I think Cassie, no matter how much I love her, is a shade fanatical. She takes it too far, from being good to being saintly. We’re not saints. We can’t be, and we never will. There isn’t a chance.
Marco and Ax understand that. But Tobias and Jake are too afraid of admitting that they understand, they’re too afraid of going over a certain line. They depend on Cassie to keep them humane (or in Tobias’s case, drop the ‘e’), and they know that if they, especially Jake, think she’s too extreme, she’ll close off and pretend to be ruthless and dash for the front lines, like me, Marco and Ax.
It’s a harsh line, the one drawn between us in our massive moral debates. Marco and I are one extreme; we both have a very set view of the world. We share our philosophy of win at all costs. We’ll walk the line, but we try not to cross it.
Cassie and Tobias are the other side. Morality and humanity. Win, but we have to be careful. When they see the line, they duck and cover.
Jake and Ax, finally, are more difficult to place. Neither of them speak up much in our arguments. Thinking about it, it’s mainly because they’re both versatile enough to see both sides of the situation. They agree with both sides, but I’ve noticed Ax tends to lean towards me and Marco. Jake is more comfortable in the Cassie side of the camp.
I don’t know what wacky beast decided it would be best to put everyone who’s close to each other in such startlingly different camps, but it makes for some interesting arguments.
I sighed and absently bent down to tie my brand-new shoes. I had absolutely no idea where Marco was.
---
Luckily, I didn’t need one.
By sheer luck, I caught Erek out at the front of the school. He gave me an excuse about waiting for the bus, but I knew he could get to his school faster than any automobile. I accused him of ditching; after pointing me to Marco’s location on the roof, he grinned and admitted his guilt.
Ice Knife
I had not kept track of the time since Yusuke and Botan had dragged Kazu and his friends, and that blonde boy up to the apartment. I knew Kurama had arrived not long after, and had set about in assisting Botan and Genkai in doctoring them up. Kazu was in the most trouble, but Keiko and I had been able to take care of him adequately. The others didn’t have his stubbornness or thick skin, Genkai-baachan had commented dryly.
Kazu was sleeping peacefully in Yusuke’s room. He had woken up for a moment, and spoken to Yusuke, and that moment included urging us to give the boy (Kiyoshi Mitarai, alias Seaman) the bed. Kurama had doctored him extensively. Bandages and his pastes and salves. Mostly cuts and burns, he had murmured, as he went about his work. They were consistent with Kazuma’s Rei-ken, or a sharp, quick shot from Yusuke’s Rei-gun.
Sawamura and Kirishima had been quickly healed by Botan-chan, but Okubo had a bad stab wound in his leg. He had lost a good deal of blood, plus his lungs were almost brimming with water. Genkai-baachan had healed him herself, but after replenishing all that blood, she had needed a bit of a pick-up from my own reiki.
Yusuke and I had questioned the boys extensively. They were traumatized, but he and I could get the answers out of them. Baachan and Kurama were likely to scare them too much. Keiko and Botan would be too gentle. And Kurama had promised to fix it when we finished; he said he could make it so they didn’t remember the attack.
Hearing that, Yusuke and I ripped into them, demanding answers. We were harsh, I suppose, but since Kurama was erasing their memories of everything, including our questioning, we were too stressed by the Seven, and too relieved by Kazuma’s safe return to really give a care.
A dose of “Pollen of Forgetfulness” later, Kazuma’s friends were out the door. Yusuke was sitting vigil in his bedroom, guarding Kazu and watching Seaman. Baachan’s exact words to Keiko, Botan and I were “You girls get some sleep.”
With Yusuke’s mom conked out in her room, Keiko and Puu were snuggled into a sleeping bag on the living room floor, while Baachan lounged in a chair. Botan had reclined in another corner.
I had gone to the roof for some fresh air.
I wasn’t the only one.
Sitting on the ledge of Yusuke’s building, eyes roaming the cityscape towards Mushiyori City, sat Kurama. Starlight streaming down his hair gave it an ethereal, luminous glow; I found myself wondering what the effect would be on his rather attractive youko form. Oh, excuse me, did I say rather? I prefer my men tall, dark, and handsome, but Kurama will definitely do in a pinch.
For a Reason
Crystal clear skies surrounded the flying ferry girl, blue as the brightest sapphire and twice as pretty. Clouds, pure white and jet-puffed to be fluffier than any marshmallow stood in her path like trees along the road.
None of them were in Botan’s way, which was odd, but well enough. Less navigating, less thought when there was nothing to hinder her.
Botan giggled to herself, wondering what Koenma-sama would say if he had heard that thought. Probably he would roll his eyes and ask what the difference was; she never thought anyway! It was his favorite insult towards her; “Stupid! Idiot! Dimwit!” She had heard it all over the course of her time at the Gate.
It actually was not that long, though. Not long enough for her to actually care.
She was young for a ferry girl. Goodness, she had not even been in service for ten years, she noted. She was still new to some idiosyncrasies of space-time and the workings of the Gods. It was actually a disgrace that Koenma-sama even knew her name; it was a mark of how much she stood out, with her cute, normally charming personality, and somewhat high voice. And her flakiness was probably also a factor, she thought. More than once, during inspections, she had made mistakes; dropping things and the like.
She was still new.
Too new.
She was on her way to check up on an unexpected death; some kid had jumped out in front of a car. DOA, apparently. Delinquent punk, if she remembered right.
She pulled her grade book out of her sleeve and flipped the pages, searching for the kid’s name, one… ah, here it was. Yusuke Urameshi. Delinquent punk, just like she thought. Bad personality, worse grades, not very smart, either.
Bad home life, Botan read on. Teen mom. Houdini for a dad. Usually cases like that were suicides. Botan normally didn’t take up suicides; she had trouble dealing with them. The rumor mill claimed that Ayame, Koenma-sama’s not-so-secret crush, had taken one too many suicides up, and that was why she was so somber and depressive.
Other rumors said she had taken up souls from Mount Vesuvius, and still other claimed she had been there for the Holocaust.
While Botan didn’t really believe the rumors, it was true she didn’t want to turn into Ayame. Ayame was serious and devoted to her duties, yes, and she always got her work done, but she was so darn serious! It was “Yes, Koenma-sama,” this and “No, Koenma-sama,” that.
Botan couldn’t stand to be some corporate big shot’s son’s “Yes-girl” and she showed it. As best as she could without getting fired. After all, if she got kicked out, what would happen to her? She was dead. Likely her folder would be brought back out and her life re-evaluated, and bye-bye Botan. She would be in heaven or hell, wherever it was she had originally been intended to go, when something had convinced the higher powers to offer her a job as ferry girl.
She was getting closer to the Haunt Site, she realized, as the human world became visible beneath her. Souls were immediately transferred to the place they were most likely to haunt as soon as they parted from their body. In most cases, it was the place where they had died, but others were taken to the location of a heartbreak, or a fond memory they wanted to recapture… Luckily this Yusuke appeared to be on of the easy ones. Good thing; she was still a little unsure how to deal with this.
A person dying when they’re not supposed to… Botan had found the idea completely unbelievable at first. With gods in complete control of the Universe, how in the name of All That Is did this kid slip through the cracks? The first thing she had learned in school as a girl was that “Everything Happens For A Reason.”
Of course, as Ayame had hurriedly explained on the way to Koenma-sama’s office, just because there’s a reason doesn’t mean the god in charge was paying attention to it. With Enma Daiou-sama’s habit of rearranging fault lines and strategically deciding which volcanoes were best active, it wasn’t surprising when phrased in those terms.
Botan had been the only staff member not doing anything at the time of Yusuke’s stupidly heroic suicide. All the other girls were delivering paperwork, fetching scheduled souls, or taking an extra coffee break on the roof with their boyfriends.
Well, Bara was the only one who had the gall to really do that, but still…
So Botan had been saddled with the job of fetching the prodigal dead guy and explaining the rules of the Universe to him, and allowing him a second chance at life. He was amazingly fortunate. An oversight in the Book of the Dead and suddenly the guy doesn’t have to be dead. Life (or death) just wasn’t fair to the poor saps who’s deaths had actually been noticed.
Botan sighed. It was no use being bitter over her death. It was not like she remembered anything about her life; when she entered the service, all memories of her mortal life had been erased. She could not even remember her name, or whether she had been human, demon or anything else. For all she knew, she could have been the soul of a particularly noble phoenix or tiger; she was nothing but pure energy. The form she took – a roughly fifteen year old girl with blue hair and pink eyes – was completely from her imagination. Her name had been given to her at her graduation from Ferry Girl school.
She sighed. Everything Happened For A Reason. There was a reason this kid got to enjoy a second chance and she was stuck playing gopher for a toddler. And there was a reason she was gopher going for him.
A car crash was in sight now; plus an ambulance and a crowd. Botan frowned slightly; she never could understand what kind of morbid fascination could draw people to the sight and smell of death. It may have been her bias, though, she amended: she saw lots of ugly death scenes.
But a cheerier sight caught her cherry blossom eye.
The ghost of the delinquent Yusuke Urameshi was in sight, she found. He looked so serious, she noted gleefully, head bowed and brow creased in thought. She clamped a hand over her mouth to keep from giggling; it was so cute. She wondered if Koenma-sama thought anything like that when he saw her thinking.
Botan relaxed on her flying oar out of his range of sight. It seemed he was trying to figure out what on earth had happened to him. In her experience this could take hours or days. People just did not like to believe they could die. Humanity held the (incorrect) notion that it was immortal and invincible.
To her surprise, it took Yusuke about twenty-five minutes to appraise his day and come to the conclusion…
“So I’m a ghost.”
She grinned, and swooped down, ready to inform the city’s punk of just how right he was.
He wasn’t as stupid as the records thought. Or he was more open to the idea that people died. That was an interesting thought…
There had to be a reason he didn’t waste time with all the crazy, unrealistic
---------------------
Prologue
---------------------
Similarity. The resemblance was striking between them. Eye color, hair color, height, pony tail elevation. Even then, Botan’s cherry blossom eyes were just a lighter shade of Yukina’s bright, rosy irises, and Yukina’s hair a cooler, fresher shade of Botan’s, a hint of yellow added to make a lovely, soft sea-green.
Was it wrong to find someone so similar to yourself absolutely breathtaking?
Botan had pondered the question endlessly for a while now. Of course, what was many years to a spirit was several lifetimes to any other being. Those from Botan’s home in the Spirit Realm lived longer than the demons, and certainly the humans. And Botan was young for a spirit girl.
Yukina was young for a demon.
Botan shook her head and struggled to pay attention to the world around her, and not the world in her mind, filled with a gentle snow demon’s affection and declarations of undying love. Ayame and several of the other girls often held a tea party near the end of the month, so the guides could get together and socialize without the never-ending veil of death that usually shrouded them all.
Botan was in special need of the pickup. Every ferry girl had the Right of Acquaintance, a little rule Enma had made up in centuries long past. The Right dictated that every girl could demand to ferry the soul of someone she knew, no matter what the circumstance.
Botan had never skipped out on her Right, no matter how much she wanted to. So far, Genkai (age), Atsuko (liver problems), Keiko (age), and Shizuru (lung cancer) had been escorted by her to the Gates of Judgment, and then on to their final resting place. Shizuru had tried to cheer her up, to keep her from crying and mourning, as she always had for the other girls, but, alas… Botan had been strong within Shizuru’s sight, but had cried bitterly when the Gates to Heaven closed.
Botan lifted her cup to her lips, and sipped her tea. Raspberry. Yukina’s favorite flavor, she mused absently. Botan didn’t care much for it, and somehow Yukina had known. Somehow, the next time Keiko, Shizuru and Botan had sat down over a cup with the little demon, she had prepared a delicious peach flavor, pleasing to Botan’s tongue.
Botan took another sip. Sighing and crying would get her nowhere. There probably was not very far to go, anyway. Yukina had made it clear, years ago: She was a demon, incapable of loving, she had said, ever so softly, and embarrassed.
“I’m so very sorry. I could try, if you like…”
“No! Of course not, Yukina, that would be cruel.”
Kuwabara had also heard the explanation with her. Yukina had told them together, her inquisitive crimson gaze had figured them out so easily…
Kuwabara had declared he would still protect her, and agreed it would be cruel to force Yukina.
Yukina had smiled so gently and prettily, and thanked them for understanding.
It had hurt Botan worse than anything else to understand. Kuwabara, as well. She had expected him to be angry with her, for also loving the woman he did… But what difference did it make? He had asked her that, when she mentioned it to him.
Eventually, Botan pretended to move on. Yukina still looked after Genkai’s estate, and Kuwabara and Hiei had kept their eyes on her, in their broad, manly, posturing ways.
Botan shook her head. Memories were never a good thing. She had flipped ahead in the Book of the Dead, and knew Hiei had been infected with a harmful bacteria while on a diplomatic mission far in the most uncivilized branch of the Demon Realm. He would be entering the critical, do-or-die stage any moment now. Only powerful healing magic could save him, and the only two capable of that degree of magic who would be willing to help were Yukina and Botan. Botan and Koenma had been forbidden from interfering by Enma himself, and there was no way Yukina would get there in time to do more than say her final farewells. Botan was expecting to leave for Hiei’s soul before the day ended.
Kuwabara was getting on in years, and unable to watch over Yukina as he wanted. Typical human stubbornness was all that kept him alive. His niece cared for him as best she could, but he was still weakening at an alarming rate. He needed machines to breathe and eat, and it had gotten to the point where he was pressuring his sister’s child to leave him in a nursing home. But typical Kuwabara stubbornness and loyalty kept the woman refusing.
Botan morosely gave her old friend a month. Tops.
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Part 1
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Botan collapsed to the ground; her knees had been threatening to give out on her all day. A double-whammy; Kuwabara and Hiei had both been escorted to their final resting places that day. Yusuke Urameshi’s luck had bought Hiei an extra month; the ex-detective’s own daughter by Keiko was skilled in healing. She had been summoned during the very end of the critical stage, and while she had not healed the sickness entirely, she did buy that extra month…
That month finally gave Hiei the courage to tell Yukina the terrible secret that could shatter her heart like ice shaken off the Alps.
Her phantom brother had been there all along, and was currently laid before her, a scant moment from rest.
And he loved his snowy sister with all the fire he had been cursed with at birth.
The moment Hiei inhaled the breath he would never exhale, Natsumi, Yusuke and Keiko’s daughter, had run in, screaming to Yukina (and the concealed, unearthly forms of Hiei and Botan) that Kuwabara had finally reached the end of the road. Shizuru’s daughter was hysterical, they could hear her on Natsumi’s cell phone.
Hiei’s ghost glanced at Botan. “Isn’t it your job to get him, girl? I don’t mind the company, I find it rather fitting.”
His dark red eyes fell over his shocked sister, startled out of the tears that had clouded her eyes. “But the timing… The timing is too much for her.”
“Too much for me, too,” Botan said, blinking away her own tears. “I’m sorry I never said so, Hiei, but I really did like you. Even when you were mean to me, and tried to scare me, and said I was in the way...”
“Fine, whatever. Do your job, you’ll regret it if you don’t. And regret is a powerful thing, trust me.”
Despite herself, Botan managed a weak smile, her cheeriness attempting to make a comeback. No matter how many years passed, even in death, it seemed Hiei would always be Hiei.
“Aw, come on! No happy, loving words for me, after that little angst-fest?”
“You’re not my sister. Thank God.”
--------------------------------
Yukina had been to Shizuru’s home many times during the latter’s married life. It had surprised her, to a degree, that even after she had refused Kazuma’s affections, Shizuru was still friendly to her. Shizuru had admitted that she had been angry with Yukina for hurting her brother and Botan, but then again, there was not much she could do about it.
The ice maiden had been grateful to continue her close friendship with Shizuru, at least. The comfortable, friendly relationships she had with Kazuma and Botan had suffered so badly. No matter how much the two normally cheerful beings had tried to brush it off like sand, it had hardened and melted into glass, and cut them so badly every time.
But Shizuru had changed very little, she was always so mellow. Her daughter Satoko had not inherited the trait (Satoko was prone to fits of hysteria during emotional stress, much like her father), but that was all right. The only major change to Yukina and Shizuru’s friendship was that Shizuru was less inclined to discuss her own marriage and family life. Yukina was left to observe things like Satoko’s first words, and the gifts Shizuru’s husband gave her for no reason.
But as she and Natsumi burst into the tiny home with the intensity of a small blizzard, Yukina was more concerned with Kazuma than his sister.
“Is he… Please tell me, am I too…”
“Not yet, but almost,” Yusuke said briskly. “Satoko and Kurama have been in there all day. I can’t take it, it’s too depressing.”
Yukina looked up at Yusuke as best she could, with his hands firmly on her small shoulders, and pushing her with gentle forcefulness. His dark eyes were shadowed underneath, and he looked thinner. For the last four months, he had been gravitating between the deathbeds of Hiei and Kuwabara non-stop. And whenever he was at one, he made sure Natsumi or Kurama was at the other.
Yusuke opened the door, and guided Yukina into the invalid’s bright room. The walls were painted a cheery yellow, one of Kuwabara’s favorite colors. Kurama had planted various flowers, and kept them in pots, scattered about the room.
Kurama, aged but still healthy, and Satoko, young, fit, and tear stained, hovered over the bed. Yukina’s healer’s knowledge told her that Kurama had been forcing Kuwabara to hang on for her; she could detect distinct plant-energy exuding from the man lying before her. As soon as he left the room, however, all the human male would have left would be his own stubbornness. A dangerous weapon in his youth, and for so long, it had been his only lifeline.
Kurama smiled gently at her, but his bright eyes held the greatest sympathy. Surely he knew Hiei was dead, the demon thought. How could he not, when Botan and Hiei’s energy permeated the room the way they did?
Yes, Yukina knew they were there. She had felt Botan’s spiritual essence in the room hours before Hiei had died; minutes before he told her, in no uncertain terms, that he was able to, and did, love her more than anything. He was her missing brother, and he was so sorry for keeping it from her as he did, for so long. He had spent his last hours detailing how he had known, and why he did not say. He had finally ended with a heartfelt apology for deceiving her for so long.
And now, not even an hour later, she was at another deathbed, again feeling Botan’s familiar, but suddenly ominous presence. Poor Botan, who had been forced to ferry the girls as they died, and was finally moving onto the men… Yukina closed her eyes; what she would not give for a bit of cheer from Botan right now…
She approached Kazuma’s bedside, uncertain of what to do. He had never completely left her, she knew. He had tried dating a few times, but it had never worked. She had heard him confess to Shizuru once that it never would work.
“I’m in love with Yukina, guess I always will be.”
Kazuma’s robust figure and common face had long-since faded with age, she noted unhappily. His muscle had deteriorated. He was a shadow of the gruff, but trustworthy teen delinquent who had so bravely rescued her so long ago.
But even now, as she stood before him, shy as a three year old in a nursing home, he smiled. Despite what had happened, and what was about to, he still smiled. At her.
“Yukina,” he said gently, smiling. “I’m glad to see you again.”
“Oh, Kazuma,” she murmured. “How can you be glad to see me?”
“Anyone would be,” he responded. She was amazed to see a faint shadow of the broad grin she had always inspired in him glowing across his face. All this time, and what he claimed, what he said… that he loved her… was still true?
How could anything last for so many years? How could he still claim to love a demon? An ice demon, a cold thing like her, concerned with only finding her missing her brother?
What was the regretful feeling bursting in her frozen heart?
“Yukina,” Kuwabara said softly. “Please, if you regret this, you’ll never be able to forget it. You have a long time to not forget, as well.”
Yukina jerked her head towards him, her soft ponytail flapping against her back. Her blood-red eyes had widened, the frustrated, heartsick tears that had threatened to flow sparkled gently in the soft sunlight that streamed into the room. Shock had painted a flush of surprise, confusion, frustration on her pale cheeks.
“How,” she began, soft voice shaking, “can you worry about me, in a time like this? Kazuma, you’re dying, and there isn’t anything… anything I can do to help you…”
A perfect tear dropped down her cheek, and clacked to the ground. It rolled across the carpet, and finally landed on the sheets pooled on the ground beside Kuwabara’s bed.
Struggling, Kuwabara reached down to snatch the lovely hirui stone. Perfectly spherical, and pure white, he noted, finally getting it and flopping back onto his soft pillows. He clutched the jewel to his chest, a perfect, flawless reminder of the lovely ice maiden he still adored.
“Because, Yukina… I expect you’re tired of hearing it, but I love you.”
“Why? How?”
Kuwabara swallowed… and his head rolled over gently, falling onto the pillows at his side.
“Uncle Kazu?” Satoko said hesitantly. “Uncle Kazu, are you okay? Uncle Kazu!”
Natsumi wrapped an arm around the smaller woman’s shoulders, and lead her out before she got hysterical.
Kurama laid an old, gnarled hand over Kuwabara’s neck, and felt for his pulse. He turned back to Yusuke and Yukina, and slid his hand back to the human’s wrist. And finally, he laid his head down on Kuwabara’s chest.
“Dead,” Kurama proclaimed finally, straightening up… and reaching for a maple wood cane leaned against the wall. “He’s okay now.”
“That’s one way of looking at it,” Hiei’s ghost commented to his two companions. A few more hiruiseki had leaked from Yukina’s vermillion eyes.
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Part 2
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Yusuke, Kurama, Natsumi and Satoko had objected to Yukina’s leaving. But the demon hadn’t cared. Her mind, she wasn’t sure an ice maiden’s brain was built to handle everything at once.
Maybe that’s why Kurama had attempted to sit her down and fix her a cup of tea. He probably knew how much her poor brain could deal with before she snapped, he knew everything else. But she had not wanted to impose, especially since with Hiei and Kuwabara dead, Yusuke was deathly afraid of Kurama’s own age getting the better of him. He had been nearly psychotic, forcing the fox spirit to sit, rest, drink a cup of tea himself…
She shook her head, ponytail flying in the gentle wind. She could not help Yusuke deal with his problem until she had dealt with her own.
Hiei was dead. Her brother. The force of that statement slammed her like a truck. She hadn’t quite absorbed the information as he lay there, pale as moonlight, sweating hard, heart racing…
She choked; he had looked so helpless…So different from the fiery Hiei she remembered, the warm brother she imagined…
And she couldn’t think about brothers without thinking of the only example of a brother she knew… had known… previously… oh, this was too much!
Kazuma had been so weak… so unlike himself.
Except for that declaration of love. Still persistent, that statement, was it really true? Impossible.
It could not last that long.
Hiei had said it, too. That he loved her, he loved her just because she was his sister, just because she was who she was, and always had.
But… how?
Hiei was as demonic as she was. She could not love anyone. Logically, neither could he.
But he said he did…
Kazuma said he did.
Botan said she did.
More of her hirui stones pooled around her. More of her choked sobs could be heard. Regret could be tasted in the air, as the little ice maiden realized everything she had missed out on.
Hiei, Kazuma and Botan. They couldn’t all lie, could they? It was impossible.
If Kazuma and Hiei still loved her, did Botan?
Kazuma had said he didn’t want her to regret anything.
I think that's it... nagging me to write Cheechron is good, too!
CHAPTER TWO: “…but we try not to cross it.”
RACHEL
Why did I decide to go after Marco? Why? It’s a good question. Cassie is my best friend. Marco is my sparring partner, for lack of a better term. He’s someone I disagree with and argue with and shoot down.
Until the debate becomes moral and ethical and all that fun stuff. That’s when I think Cassie, no matter how much I love her, is a shade fanatical. She takes it too far, from being good to being saintly. We’re not saints. We can’t be, and we never will. There isn’t a chance.
Marco and Ax understand that. But Tobias and Jake are too afraid of admitting that they understand, they’re too afraid of going over a certain line. They depend on Cassie to keep them humane (or in Tobias’s case, drop the ‘e’), and they know that if they, especially Jake, think she’s too extreme, she’ll close off and pretend to be ruthless and dash for the front lines, like me, Marco and Ax.
It’s a harsh line, the one drawn between us in our massive moral debates. Marco and I are one extreme; we both have a very set view of the world. We share our philosophy of win at all costs. We’ll walk the line, but we try not to cross it.
Cassie and Tobias are the other side. Morality and humanity. Win, but we have to be careful. When they see the line, they duck and cover.
Jake and Ax, finally, are more difficult to place. Neither of them speak up much in our arguments. Thinking about it, it’s mainly because they’re both versatile enough to see both sides of the situation. They agree with both sides, but I’ve noticed Ax tends to lean towards me and Marco. Jake is more comfortable in the Cassie side of the camp.
I don’t know what wacky beast decided it would be best to put everyone who’s close to each other in such startlingly different camps, but it makes for some interesting arguments.
I sighed and absently bent down to tie my brand-new shoes. I had absolutely no idea where Marco was.
---
Luckily, I didn’t need one.
By sheer luck, I caught Erek out at the front of the school. He gave me an excuse about waiting for the bus, but I knew he could get to his school faster than any automobile. I accused him of ditching; after pointing me to Marco’s location on the roof, he grinned and admitted his guilt.
Ice Knife
I had not kept track of the time since Yusuke and Botan had dragged Kazu and his friends, and that blonde boy up to the apartment. I knew Kurama had arrived not long after, and had set about in assisting Botan and Genkai in doctoring them up. Kazu was in the most trouble, but Keiko and I had been able to take care of him adequately. The others didn’t have his stubbornness or thick skin, Genkai-baachan had commented dryly.
Kazu was sleeping peacefully in Yusuke’s room. He had woken up for a moment, and spoken to Yusuke, and that moment included urging us to give the boy (Kiyoshi Mitarai, alias Seaman) the bed. Kurama had doctored him extensively. Bandages and his pastes and salves. Mostly cuts and burns, he had murmured, as he went about his work. They were consistent with Kazuma’s Rei-ken, or a sharp, quick shot from Yusuke’s Rei-gun.
Sawamura and Kirishima had been quickly healed by Botan-chan, but Okubo had a bad stab wound in his leg. He had lost a good deal of blood, plus his lungs were almost brimming with water. Genkai-baachan had healed him herself, but after replenishing all that blood, she had needed a bit of a pick-up from my own reiki.
Yusuke and I had questioned the boys extensively. They were traumatized, but he and I could get the answers out of them. Baachan and Kurama were likely to scare them too much. Keiko and Botan would be too gentle. And Kurama had promised to fix it when we finished; he said he could make it so they didn’t remember the attack.
Hearing that, Yusuke and I ripped into them, demanding answers. We were harsh, I suppose, but since Kurama was erasing their memories of everything, including our questioning, we were too stressed by the Seven, and too relieved by Kazuma’s safe return to really give a care.
A dose of “Pollen of Forgetfulness” later, Kazuma’s friends were out the door. Yusuke was sitting vigil in his bedroom, guarding Kazu and watching Seaman. Baachan’s exact words to Keiko, Botan and I were “You girls get some sleep.”
With Yusuke’s mom conked out in her room, Keiko and Puu were snuggled into a sleeping bag on the living room floor, while Baachan lounged in a chair. Botan had reclined in another corner.
I had gone to the roof for some fresh air.
I wasn’t the only one.
Sitting on the ledge of Yusuke’s building, eyes roaming the cityscape towards Mushiyori City, sat Kurama. Starlight streaming down his hair gave it an ethereal, luminous glow; I found myself wondering what the effect would be on his rather attractive youko form. Oh, excuse me, did I say rather? I prefer my men tall, dark, and handsome, but Kurama will definitely do in a pinch.
For a Reason
Crystal clear skies surrounded the flying ferry girl, blue as the brightest sapphire and twice as pretty. Clouds, pure white and jet-puffed to be fluffier than any marshmallow stood in her path like trees along the road.
None of them were in Botan’s way, which was odd, but well enough. Less navigating, less thought when there was nothing to hinder her.
Botan giggled to herself, wondering what Koenma-sama would say if he had heard that thought. Probably he would roll his eyes and ask what the difference was; she never thought anyway! It was his favorite insult towards her; “Stupid! Idiot! Dimwit!” She had heard it all over the course of her time at the Gate.
It actually was not that long, though. Not long enough for her to actually care.
She was young for a ferry girl. Goodness, she had not even been in service for ten years, she noted. She was still new to some idiosyncrasies of space-time and the workings of the Gods. It was actually a disgrace that Koenma-sama even knew her name; it was a mark of how much she stood out, with her cute, normally charming personality, and somewhat high voice. And her flakiness was probably also a factor, she thought. More than once, during inspections, she had made mistakes; dropping things and the like.
She was still new.
Too new.
She was on her way to check up on an unexpected death; some kid had jumped out in front of a car. DOA, apparently. Delinquent punk, if she remembered right.
She pulled her grade book out of her sleeve and flipped the pages, searching for the kid’s name, one… ah, here it was. Yusuke Urameshi. Delinquent punk, just like she thought. Bad personality, worse grades, not very smart, either.
Bad home life, Botan read on. Teen mom. Houdini for a dad. Usually cases like that were suicides. Botan normally didn’t take up suicides; she had trouble dealing with them. The rumor mill claimed that Ayame, Koenma-sama’s not-so-secret crush, had taken one too many suicides up, and that was why she was so somber and depressive.
Other rumors said she had taken up souls from Mount Vesuvius, and still other claimed she had been there for the Holocaust.
While Botan didn’t really believe the rumors, it was true she didn’t want to turn into Ayame. Ayame was serious and devoted to her duties, yes, and she always got her work done, but she was so darn serious! It was “Yes, Koenma-sama,” this and “No, Koenma-sama,” that.
Botan couldn’t stand to be some corporate big shot’s son’s “Yes-girl” and she showed it. As best as she could without getting fired. After all, if she got kicked out, what would happen to her? She was dead. Likely her folder would be brought back out and her life re-evaluated, and bye-bye Botan. She would be in heaven or hell, wherever it was she had originally been intended to go, when something had convinced the higher powers to offer her a job as ferry girl.
She was getting closer to the Haunt Site, she realized, as the human world became visible beneath her. Souls were immediately transferred to the place they were most likely to haunt as soon as they parted from their body. In most cases, it was the place where they had died, but others were taken to the location of a heartbreak, or a fond memory they wanted to recapture… Luckily this Yusuke appeared to be on of the easy ones. Good thing; she was still a little unsure how to deal with this.
A person dying when they’re not supposed to… Botan had found the idea completely unbelievable at first. With gods in complete control of the Universe, how in the name of All That Is did this kid slip through the cracks? The first thing she had learned in school as a girl was that “Everything Happens For A Reason.”
Of course, as Ayame had hurriedly explained on the way to Koenma-sama’s office, just because there’s a reason doesn’t mean the god in charge was paying attention to it. With Enma Daiou-sama’s habit of rearranging fault lines and strategically deciding which volcanoes were best active, it wasn’t surprising when phrased in those terms.
Botan had been the only staff member not doing anything at the time of Yusuke’s stupidly heroic suicide. All the other girls were delivering paperwork, fetching scheduled souls, or taking an extra coffee break on the roof with their boyfriends.
Well, Bara was the only one who had the gall to really do that, but still…
So Botan had been saddled with the job of fetching the prodigal dead guy and explaining the rules of the Universe to him, and allowing him a second chance at life. He was amazingly fortunate. An oversight in the Book of the Dead and suddenly the guy doesn’t have to be dead. Life (or death) just wasn’t fair to the poor saps who’s deaths had actually been noticed.
Botan sighed. It was no use being bitter over her death. It was not like she remembered anything about her life; when she entered the service, all memories of her mortal life had been erased. She could not even remember her name, or whether she had been human, demon or anything else. For all she knew, she could have been the soul of a particularly noble phoenix or tiger; she was nothing but pure energy. The form she took – a roughly fifteen year old girl with blue hair and pink eyes – was completely from her imagination. Her name had been given to her at her graduation from Ferry Girl school.
She sighed. Everything Happened For A Reason. There was a reason this kid got to enjoy a second chance and she was stuck playing gopher for a toddler. And there was a reason she was gopher going for him.
A car crash was in sight now; plus an ambulance and a crowd. Botan frowned slightly; she never could understand what kind of morbid fascination could draw people to the sight and smell of death. It may have been her bias, though, she amended: she saw lots of ugly death scenes.
But a cheerier sight caught her cherry blossom eye.
The ghost of the delinquent Yusuke Urameshi was in sight, she found. He looked so serious, she noted gleefully, head bowed and brow creased in thought. She clamped a hand over her mouth to keep from giggling; it was so cute. She wondered if Koenma-sama thought anything like that when he saw her thinking.
Botan relaxed on her flying oar out of his range of sight. It seemed he was trying to figure out what on earth had happened to him. In her experience this could take hours or days. People just did not like to believe they could die. Humanity held the (incorrect) notion that it was immortal and invincible.
To her surprise, it took Yusuke about twenty-five minutes to appraise his day and come to the conclusion…
“So I’m a ghost.”
She grinned, and swooped down, ready to inform the city’s punk of just how right he was.
He wasn’t as stupid as the records thought. Or he was more open to the idea that people died. That was an interesting thought…
There had to be a reason he didn’t waste time with all the crazy, unrealistic
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Prologue
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Similarity. The resemblance was striking between them. Eye color, hair color, height, pony tail elevation. Even then, Botan’s cherry blossom eyes were just a lighter shade of Yukina’s bright, rosy irises, and Yukina’s hair a cooler, fresher shade of Botan’s, a hint of yellow added to make a lovely, soft sea-green.
Was it wrong to find someone so similar to yourself absolutely breathtaking?
Botan had pondered the question endlessly for a while now. Of course, what was many years to a spirit was several lifetimes to any other being. Those from Botan’s home in the Spirit Realm lived longer than the demons, and certainly the humans. And Botan was young for a spirit girl.
Yukina was young for a demon.
Botan shook her head and struggled to pay attention to the world around her, and not the world in her mind, filled with a gentle snow demon’s affection and declarations of undying love. Ayame and several of the other girls often held a tea party near the end of the month, so the guides could get together and socialize without the never-ending veil of death that usually shrouded them all.
Botan was in special need of the pickup. Every ferry girl had the Right of Acquaintance, a little rule Enma had made up in centuries long past. The Right dictated that every girl could demand to ferry the soul of someone she knew, no matter what the circumstance.
Botan had never skipped out on her Right, no matter how much she wanted to. So far, Genkai (age), Atsuko (liver problems), Keiko (age), and Shizuru (lung cancer) had been escorted by her to the Gates of Judgment, and then on to their final resting place. Shizuru had tried to cheer her up, to keep her from crying and mourning, as she always had for the other girls, but, alas… Botan had been strong within Shizuru’s sight, but had cried bitterly when the Gates to Heaven closed.
Botan lifted her cup to her lips, and sipped her tea. Raspberry. Yukina’s favorite flavor, she mused absently. Botan didn’t care much for it, and somehow Yukina had known. Somehow, the next time Keiko, Shizuru and Botan had sat down over a cup with the little demon, she had prepared a delicious peach flavor, pleasing to Botan’s tongue.
Botan took another sip. Sighing and crying would get her nowhere. There probably was not very far to go, anyway. Yukina had made it clear, years ago: She was a demon, incapable of loving, she had said, ever so softly, and embarrassed.
“I’m so very sorry. I could try, if you like…”
“No! Of course not, Yukina, that would be cruel.”
Kuwabara had also heard the explanation with her. Yukina had told them together, her inquisitive crimson gaze had figured them out so easily…
Kuwabara had declared he would still protect her, and agreed it would be cruel to force Yukina.
Yukina had smiled so gently and prettily, and thanked them for understanding.
It had hurt Botan worse than anything else to understand. Kuwabara, as well. She had expected him to be angry with her, for also loving the woman he did… But what difference did it make? He had asked her that, when she mentioned it to him.
Eventually, Botan pretended to move on. Yukina still looked after Genkai’s estate, and Kuwabara and Hiei had kept their eyes on her, in their broad, manly, posturing ways.
Botan shook her head. Memories were never a good thing. She had flipped ahead in the Book of the Dead, and knew Hiei had been infected with a harmful bacteria while on a diplomatic mission far in the most uncivilized branch of the Demon Realm. He would be entering the critical, do-or-die stage any moment now. Only powerful healing magic could save him, and the only two capable of that degree of magic who would be willing to help were Yukina and Botan. Botan and Koenma had been forbidden from interfering by Enma himself, and there was no way Yukina would get there in time to do more than say her final farewells. Botan was expecting to leave for Hiei’s soul before the day ended.
Kuwabara was getting on in years, and unable to watch over Yukina as he wanted. Typical human stubbornness was all that kept him alive. His niece cared for him as best she could, but he was still weakening at an alarming rate. He needed machines to breathe and eat, and it had gotten to the point where he was pressuring his sister’s child to leave him in a nursing home. But typical Kuwabara stubbornness and loyalty kept the woman refusing.
Botan morosely gave her old friend a month. Tops.
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Part 1
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Botan collapsed to the ground; her knees had been threatening to give out on her all day. A double-whammy; Kuwabara and Hiei had both been escorted to their final resting places that day. Yusuke Urameshi’s luck had bought Hiei an extra month; the ex-detective’s own daughter by Keiko was skilled in healing. She had been summoned during the very end of the critical stage, and while she had not healed the sickness entirely, she did buy that extra month…
That month finally gave Hiei the courage to tell Yukina the terrible secret that could shatter her heart like ice shaken off the Alps.
Her phantom brother had been there all along, and was currently laid before her, a scant moment from rest.
And he loved his snowy sister with all the fire he had been cursed with at birth.
The moment Hiei inhaled the breath he would never exhale, Natsumi, Yusuke and Keiko’s daughter, had run in, screaming to Yukina (and the concealed, unearthly forms of Hiei and Botan) that Kuwabara had finally reached the end of the road. Shizuru’s daughter was hysterical, they could hear her on Natsumi’s cell phone.
Hiei’s ghost glanced at Botan. “Isn’t it your job to get him, girl? I don’t mind the company, I find it rather fitting.”
His dark red eyes fell over his shocked sister, startled out of the tears that had clouded her eyes. “But the timing… The timing is too much for her.”
“Too much for me, too,” Botan said, blinking away her own tears. “I’m sorry I never said so, Hiei, but I really did like you. Even when you were mean to me, and tried to scare me, and said I was in the way...”
“Fine, whatever. Do your job, you’ll regret it if you don’t. And regret is a powerful thing, trust me.”
Despite herself, Botan managed a weak smile, her cheeriness attempting to make a comeback. No matter how many years passed, even in death, it seemed Hiei would always be Hiei.
“Aw, come on! No happy, loving words for me, after that little angst-fest?”
“You’re not my sister. Thank God.”
--------------------------------
Yukina had been to Shizuru’s home many times during the latter’s married life. It had surprised her, to a degree, that even after she had refused Kazuma’s affections, Shizuru was still friendly to her. Shizuru had admitted that she had been angry with Yukina for hurting her brother and Botan, but then again, there was not much she could do about it.
The ice maiden had been grateful to continue her close friendship with Shizuru, at least. The comfortable, friendly relationships she had with Kazuma and Botan had suffered so badly. No matter how much the two normally cheerful beings had tried to brush it off like sand, it had hardened and melted into glass, and cut them so badly every time.
But Shizuru had changed very little, she was always so mellow. Her daughter Satoko had not inherited the trait (Satoko was prone to fits of hysteria during emotional stress, much like her father), but that was all right. The only major change to Yukina and Shizuru’s friendship was that Shizuru was less inclined to discuss her own marriage and family life. Yukina was left to observe things like Satoko’s first words, and the gifts Shizuru’s husband gave her for no reason.
But as she and Natsumi burst into the tiny home with the intensity of a small blizzard, Yukina was more concerned with Kazuma than his sister.
“Is he… Please tell me, am I too…”
“Not yet, but almost,” Yusuke said briskly. “Satoko and Kurama have been in there all day. I can’t take it, it’s too depressing.”
Yukina looked up at Yusuke as best she could, with his hands firmly on her small shoulders, and pushing her with gentle forcefulness. His dark eyes were shadowed underneath, and he looked thinner. For the last four months, he had been gravitating between the deathbeds of Hiei and Kuwabara non-stop. And whenever he was at one, he made sure Natsumi or Kurama was at the other.
Yusuke opened the door, and guided Yukina into the invalid’s bright room. The walls were painted a cheery yellow, one of Kuwabara’s favorite colors. Kurama had planted various flowers, and kept them in pots, scattered about the room.
Kurama, aged but still healthy, and Satoko, young, fit, and tear stained, hovered over the bed. Yukina’s healer’s knowledge told her that Kurama had been forcing Kuwabara to hang on for her; she could detect distinct plant-energy exuding from the man lying before her. As soon as he left the room, however, all the human male would have left would be his own stubbornness. A dangerous weapon in his youth, and for so long, it had been his only lifeline.
Kurama smiled gently at her, but his bright eyes held the greatest sympathy. Surely he knew Hiei was dead, the demon thought. How could he not, when Botan and Hiei’s energy permeated the room the way they did?
Yes, Yukina knew they were there. She had felt Botan’s spiritual essence in the room hours before Hiei had died; minutes before he told her, in no uncertain terms, that he was able to, and did, love her more than anything. He was her missing brother, and he was so sorry for keeping it from her as he did, for so long. He had spent his last hours detailing how he had known, and why he did not say. He had finally ended with a heartfelt apology for deceiving her for so long.
And now, not even an hour later, she was at another deathbed, again feeling Botan’s familiar, but suddenly ominous presence. Poor Botan, who had been forced to ferry the girls as they died, and was finally moving onto the men… Yukina closed her eyes; what she would not give for a bit of cheer from Botan right now…
She approached Kazuma’s bedside, uncertain of what to do. He had never completely left her, she knew. He had tried dating a few times, but it had never worked. She had heard him confess to Shizuru once that it never would work.
“I’m in love with Yukina, guess I always will be.”
Kazuma’s robust figure and common face had long-since faded with age, she noted unhappily. His muscle had deteriorated. He was a shadow of the gruff, but trustworthy teen delinquent who had so bravely rescued her so long ago.
But even now, as she stood before him, shy as a three year old in a nursing home, he smiled. Despite what had happened, and what was about to, he still smiled. At her.
“Yukina,” he said gently, smiling. “I’m glad to see you again.”
“Oh, Kazuma,” she murmured. “How can you be glad to see me?”
“Anyone would be,” he responded. She was amazed to see a faint shadow of the broad grin she had always inspired in him glowing across his face. All this time, and what he claimed, what he said… that he loved her… was still true?
How could anything last for so many years? How could he still claim to love a demon? An ice demon, a cold thing like her, concerned with only finding her missing her brother?
What was the regretful feeling bursting in her frozen heart?
“Yukina,” Kuwabara said softly. “Please, if you regret this, you’ll never be able to forget it. You have a long time to not forget, as well.”
Yukina jerked her head towards him, her soft ponytail flapping against her back. Her blood-red eyes had widened, the frustrated, heartsick tears that had threatened to flow sparkled gently in the soft sunlight that streamed into the room. Shock had painted a flush of surprise, confusion, frustration on her pale cheeks.
“How,” she began, soft voice shaking, “can you worry about me, in a time like this? Kazuma, you’re dying, and there isn’t anything… anything I can do to help you…”
A perfect tear dropped down her cheek, and clacked to the ground. It rolled across the carpet, and finally landed on the sheets pooled on the ground beside Kuwabara’s bed.
Struggling, Kuwabara reached down to snatch the lovely hirui stone. Perfectly spherical, and pure white, he noted, finally getting it and flopping back onto his soft pillows. He clutched the jewel to his chest, a perfect, flawless reminder of the lovely ice maiden he still adored.
“Because, Yukina… I expect you’re tired of hearing it, but I love you.”
“Why? How?”
Kuwabara swallowed… and his head rolled over gently, falling onto the pillows at his side.
“Uncle Kazu?” Satoko said hesitantly. “Uncle Kazu, are you okay? Uncle Kazu!”
Natsumi wrapped an arm around the smaller woman’s shoulders, and lead her out before she got hysterical.
Kurama laid an old, gnarled hand over Kuwabara’s neck, and felt for his pulse. He turned back to Yusuke and Yukina, and slid his hand back to the human’s wrist. And finally, he laid his head down on Kuwabara’s chest.
“Dead,” Kurama proclaimed finally, straightening up… and reaching for a maple wood cane leaned against the wall. “He’s okay now.”
“That’s one way of looking at it,” Hiei’s ghost commented to his two companions. A few more hiruiseki had leaked from Yukina’s vermillion eyes.
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Part 2
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Yusuke, Kurama, Natsumi and Satoko had objected to Yukina’s leaving. But the demon hadn’t cared. Her mind, she wasn’t sure an ice maiden’s brain was built to handle everything at once.
Maybe that’s why Kurama had attempted to sit her down and fix her a cup of tea. He probably knew how much her poor brain could deal with before she snapped, he knew everything else. But she had not wanted to impose, especially since with Hiei and Kuwabara dead, Yusuke was deathly afraid of Kurama’s own age getting the better of him. He had been nearly psychotic, forcing the fox spirit to sit, rest, drink a cup of tea himself…
She shook her head, ponytail flying in the gentle wind. She could not help Yusuke deal with his problem until she had dealt with her own.
Hiei was dead. Her brother. The force of that statement slammed her like a truck. She hadn’t quite absorbed the information as he lay there, pale as moonlight, sweating hard, heart racing…
She choked; he had looked so helpless…So different from the fiery Hiei she remembered, the warm brother she imagined…
And she couldn’t think about brothers without thinking of the only example of a brother she knew… had known… previously… oh, this was too much!
Kazuma had been so weak… so unlike himself.
Except for that declaration of love. Still persistent, that statement, was it really true? Impossible.
It could not last that long.
Hiei had said it, too. That he loved her, he loved her just because she was his sister, just because she was who she was, and always had.
But… how?
Hiei was as demonic as she was. She could not love anyone. Logically, neither could he.
But he said he did…
Kazuma said he did.
Botan said she did.
More of her hirui stones pooled around her. More of her choked sobs could be heard. Regret could be tasted in the air, as the little ice maiden realized everything she had missed out on.
Hiei, Kazuma and Botan. They couldn’t all lie, could they? It was impossible.
If Kazuma and Hiei still loved her, did Botan?
Kazuma had said he didn’t want her to regret anything.
I think that's it... nagging me to write Cheechron is good, too!
